Why Valentine's Day shouldn't be about lingerie
Posted on 13 February 2017
I know this may be sacrilege but I don't believe Valentine's Day should be about lingerie. While I love what I do, a day dedicated to 'romance' can add unnecessary pressure for both women and men.
This time of year brings women (and men) rushing to find lingerie that will please. Some well intentioned men (or women) have no idea where to start - the number of times I have been told I am the same size as their beloved would be a mathematical impossibility. I always ask the same question - what does your partner wear normally and what does she feel comfortable in? I like to think that I may have saved some poor woman who normally likes comfortable briefs from a thong that will have her cringing!
For women the pressure is sometimes too much. We all have fears and issues - trust me, even the women you think wouldn't have a care in the world do. Add the perception that you suddenly have to become some 'lingerie goddess' and well, you can see where this can go. Suddenly love and loving who you are become harder to feel.
So here is my advice to both men and women - stop.
Romance and love doesn't always have to involve lingerie. There isn't one day where you have to 'become' some version of yourself that you think our partner wants you to be (believe me when I say you are enough. You are.) If Valentine's Day is your thing then spend time listening to your partner, put the phone away, give all of yourself to each other - cook a favourite dinner, take a picnic, go for a walk, give the gift of time and being present and of being interested in each other.
As for lingerie, we've all heard the story of people keeping the good stuff for 'later' and then 'later' never arrives. I believe that you should wear something every day that makes you smile and boosts your confidence. I call it the secret smile. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to make yourself smile x